Six weeks

...and I'm partially screwed as far as solo practice is concerned. Up til now I could dance on Monday night at class, on a Tuesday in an empty function room near home, Saturday mornings in the same place, and occasional Sundays in the same place. The room is now let out to another group on Tuesdays. Two solo practices a week is not going to cut it, not when I've just had my shoes altered (tips cut down) and I really need to get more practice in them. That's 12 practices before the exam, plus about 3 Sundays. 15 sessions. Not enough.

I practiced at home last night, but obviously I can't wear shoes and all the floors are rock solid. Shins are buzzing a bit today.

I'm feeling really confident with ceili teaching though, so perhaps I can give that a back seat and just keep it ticking over with one practice a week perhaps.

Things I still need to do:

- Finalise boy's reel teaching step.
- Finalise boy's hornpipe teaching step.
- New slip jig dancing step for myself - the other one just isn't working on me.
- Practice boy's heavy jig teaching step.
- Practice the shit out of everything.

43.

My friend, who eventually will be my assistant teacher and take her TMRF, was given a bottle of Moet for her birthday last week. She decided not to open it, and is saving it for the day I tell her I've passed instead. Gulp.

Terrified

Oh, random waves of nausea. How I have missed you. Absolutely suddenly terrified of this again. The next 7 weeks will be lovely.

54

All that's going to fail me now is nerves, I honestly feel like that. That sounds like I'm being incredibly arrogant but it's actually very pessimistic because I am SO nervous already. Last time my tactic was to try NOT to think about the TCRG exam unless I was actually doing something specifically related to it. I think that was counterproductive - this time I'm actively trying to think about it all the damn time so it becomes less terrifying. I'm not sure whether it's working or not.

My ceili teaching has definitely improved and I can lilt now. I tried to be a bit more adventurous with my solo steps, some of it's worked and some of it hasn't, so I've reverted to simpler things where necessary and I'm more confident with that now. Solo teaching I'm nearly there choreography wise, just need to test a few things out and, for the boys, get a boy to dance them to see if they feel comfortable.

I've got so many kids waiting on me to pass now. The kids of family and friends are old enough to start, they're just sitting tight waiting for me to pass. I want it more than ever, and I'll want it a little bit more every day for the next 54 days.

Please God I can keep a lid on these nerves. Please God I can really show them what I can do this time around. I need those four letters.