Scheduled.

So it's real - the timetable's out. I've got GREAT times, I'm really grateful as it's just fallen exactly the way I would have wanted it. Not too early, not too late, and I can cancel the third night in the hotel.

And what's more, a handy little notice has gone up about a June exam in Limerick which I'll probably be able to make should I need to.

I'm having minor panic attacks all the time (I'm exaggerating, it's not that bad. The odd wave of nausea and Fear with a capital F that Rescue Remedy or Kalms can't touch), but strangely I also feel almost relaxed?

My dancing group is quite cool - no terrifying world champions although there are some very good dancers in it. And looking at the names of people who are retaking sections, I kinda feel like well if someone as amazing as them needs two attempts, then there's no shame whatsoever in me needing two attempts. You never know how you'll react to nerves, whether you'll go blank - a disaster can happen to anyone so so what if it happens to me?

Daily, I am mummified in tubigrip from arch to knee and slathered in Deep Freeze, Deep Heat, ibuprofen gel or some other concoction or potion. I'm rattling - as well as the fear pills, I'm on ibuprofen and the 'old faithful' Anadin Extra several times a day. This is absolutely killing me. I thought I'd torn my lower calf on Monday night, I've got blisters on top of blisters, I can't walk in the morning, my quads complain every time I dare to stand from sitting.

But I'm kind of enjoying it.

I feel like I've done what I originally set out to do, which was to learn all the ceilis and all the traditional sets (well, the Big Four). I wanted to learn them because I never had as a dancer, and I felt I should know them if I was to call myself an aficionado and a true fan of dancing. Mission accomplished in that respect. Then someone pointed out to me that if I was going to learn all that anyway, I might just as well get on with it and do the full TCRG exam. Crazy, I called them. I was right. But so were they.

I honestly couldn't be without it. What would I think about all day? What would I do at Easter?! What would I look at on the internet?

I'm still not quite ready, mind. The Trip to the Cottage and Leslie's Hornpipe tunes are kind of evading me, though I can do the rest with a bit of preparation. I'm a set down and that needs sorting quickly. Stamina, in shoes, is awful - in socks I can bang out a Planxty Drury no problem - the shoes sap my stamina and strength, make me lose my concentration, kill my poor arches. I need a second hornpipe step, and quickly.

But it's not tooooo bad. Ceilis fine, music fine, got some decent teaching steps including a dead difficult girls reel. Oh yes, need to think about boy's hard shoe steps for teaching.

It's not going to be that bad. I'm going to be fine. Don't you worry, don't you worry child.

And then I can have a bloody nice massage and a sleep on Monday 19th November.