This week, people just like me learned their fate. The results from the Washington and Boston exams were released, and while I was able to congratulate one or two friends, most of the people I've got to know needed a pep talk and a virtual shoulder to cry on. And it's their experience that has stayed with me for the past couple of days, rather than the jubilation of the people now embarking on their new life as a TCRG.
I even dreamt about receiving my results, and how unrealistic a dream it was! Full marks in the dancing yet 13% in the written ceili? Must be unheard of for anyone, let alone me. I woke up sad that I'd failed, yet relieved that for me it was just a bad dream. For some people it's reality. They're further along in the process than me, and have been of enormous help as I've struggled through my 29 ceilis and 2 trad sets (to date). They've given me a leg up, and somehow they're sitting disappointed and disheartened.
Don't quit. Please don't let it get the better of you. A few weeks ago I was disillusioned and grumpy; after a little time and a little study, I've weathered the storm and am full of enthusiasm, ideas and dreams. Once the initial shock has subsided, and you have your full results, I'm sure you'll feel the same. Ready to pick up where you left off. Maybe you'll be angry. As dancers, we're always told to use that negative energy for a positive purpose, and put it into our dancing. We can do the same as exam candidates - use our disappointment to fuel our final push for success.
I don't doubt I'd be just as heartbroken to fail. I don't imagine I'll pass first time. But I know that despite everything, I want this. I'm never going to be able to turn my back on Irish dance and airbrush it from my memory, so while I'm able, I'm going to keep trying. I really hope that everyone who suffered disappointment this week will keep trying too. And one day we'll be able to laugh about all of this, over a well-earned drink at a major championship, where one of our own has just recalled for the first time.
I think you'll all make damn good teachers.
Thank you for posting this. I recently found your blog, thanks to a friend, because I am one of those DC candidates that didn't pass. Getting that unsuccessful email was awful. But you are right, every failure, every dissapointment, we all have ever felt in irish dance, we all seem to push through the storm, and keep pushing on. Good Luck with your studies! I will come back and share with you some of my tricks that I learned. :) I sure did find some ways to keep everything in my head.
ReplyDeleteHi Emily - I'd love it if you'd come back and comment! Hopefully you've got your full results in the mail by now and you only need to retake one or two sections. Keep plugging away! We'll both get there sooner or later x
ReplyDeleteI did get my full results. I just have to retake solo and ceili teaching. I passed music and ceili written with 90's and dancing in the 70's. So I'm very happy.
ReplyDeleteWell done! Judging by the TCRG Voy there are lots of people in exactly the same position as you (having to retake teaching but passing everything else easily) so perhaps it was just that the panels in these exams were overly picky? Good luck in your retakes x
ReplyDelete