Bogey dance

Two weeks tomorrow.

Ugh, practice last night wasn't the best. Spent around 45 minutes on one set, I dare not speak its name, which has become a bit of a bogey. In the step I couldn't get my pointe bits right as I've been doing them on half pointe for so long. In the set I just couldn't fit in the clicky bit but the bit after that was too slow which kept putting me off. I kept missing out a bar of choreography at the start which meant the following bits didn't go with the music - and the heating was on full blast in the studio so I was a drippy mess of a drip.

I think I fixed it - I'm not changing the step because I know it works, I was just rushing as I knew I only had an hour. I changed a bit of the set to make the clicky bit achievable and account for the fact that my feet aren't fast enough right on the final bar. It'll be alright - I bet I get to dance on Saturday and just blast it out.

It's such a waste of choreography. Why can't they just ask for one jig and one hornpipe set. We will have already proved that we can do the different rhythms in our solo step about so I don't even see the point in doing sets at all save for traditionals, but if we must do sets then why six?! I can't even believe that last time round I was practising nine, it's so stupid. In my opinion you should have to do reel AND slip, then jig and hornpipe, and maybe three traditionals. Maybe the dancing exam could include a couple of ceilis as well - they tell you what it is and put you in positions, you get one run through outside, then you dance it for real. There's just no need to choreograph all these sets and then have them never see the light of day. I feel really sorry for my sets :(

Crossover

Teaching Sweets and had a panic about Cross Over and Back. I know in Cross Over and Lead Around the gents pass shoulder to shoulder and I know in Circle Round and Hands Across the ladies go shoulder to shoulder. So I dithered and sent them gents left to left. OF COURSE it is gents left to left. I know this, I know I know it. Stop second guessing yourself, you're absolutely fine.

15 days.

Solo

My solo practice today was a bit of a mixed bag. I warmed up with the traditionals and then attempted to do all of my jig sets in shoes. Miss Brown's up first, and it was dire. No stamina, bent knees throughout, clicks at waist level or below (at least I was hitting them) - serious problem. So I had a word with myself, sang 'Not Giving In' by Rudimental, and turned to face the storm. First dance it in socks to prove to yourself that you can get through it. Then in shoes - first just the step, then just the set. Then all the way through. And I DID it. I got through it. It was as rough as hell but now that I know I have the stamina to get through, it will get better every time. As the stamina increases so will the technique as I can concentrate on performing it, not just getting through it at all costs.

Rub the Bag next, just did it in full, no messing. Hurry the Jug took a while longer, partly because I kept messing it up and doing the wrong linking steps, but I got there in the end.

It's getting a little better every time.

So what have I got left? Mon 18, Thurs 21, Sat 23, Sun 24. That's plenty for next week and probably physically all I can do. Mon 25, Tues 26 or Wed 27, Sat 30 and Sun 1. That's another 4 - 8 in total. Mon 2, possibly Tues 3, Sat 7, Sun 8. Three or four. 11 or 12. Mon 9, then exam. 12 or 13.

I actually think this might be achievable. Now - Strictly Come Dancing and pizza before ceili teaching tomorrow.

This time last year

...I was failing my TCRG exam.

Well, if you take it by the calendar I was actually on the way to Glasgow, a horrifically lonely and nauseous seven-hour train journey. I'm flying this year. And technically I passed the first day.

If you take it by the day, I was getting ready for my dancing exam. You know, I surprised the life out of myself at that dancing exam. I couldn't believe I didn't cave. More to the point I couldn't believe I was even there. I got back to my room afterwards and actually shouted YES! I exceeded all my expectations and danced quite well. Ok I knew I'd fudged my Rodney's and made some of the set up on the spot as I blanked, and I made a little mistake in St Patrick's Day, but I honestly thought I could have passed it.

It's still a matter of huge frustration as a) if I only needed to retake teaching and not dancing, I might have been able to afford it in June and the ankle injury wouldn't have been an issue. I would know by now. I would be a TCRG by now. And b) because dancing isn't going so well this time and I can't help think that rather than make up those two tiny marks, I might go backwards. I wish I could just get up in front of them, dance St Patrick's Day again (but right), and that'd be it.

To be honest I don't know what I'll do if I go backwards in the dancing. I'm getting older, not better. It's now exactly 4 weeks til I have to do it again. 28 days. On the 15th of December it'll be all over. I can only use those 4 weeks to do as much work as I humanly can, and pray that it'll be over for good, and not just over for another year.

Things I'm going to do after the exam: a list

1. Have one full week where I do nothing after work and nothing at the weekend. No practice, no class, no gym.

2. Treat myself to a massage.

3. Go back to pilates.

4. Go swimming.

5. Eat a KFC. A really, really big one.

6. Wash that KFC down with champagne.

7. Have a relaxing Christmas where I do not think about dancing.

8. Do myself a pedicure (I would not inflict these feet on a professional. I dare not. They would rethink their career choices).

9. Set up a spreadsheet detailing exactly how much this TCRG exam has actually cost me. How much those letters actually cost.

10. Faint, burn the spreadsheet and never mention it ever again.

11. Start to worry about the results.

Ceili teaching

I'm on this. I've got this. Last time, I was vocally paralysed and could not find the tunes. I didn't approach it in the best way - I waited too long to give the panel the information they were looking for and both times they had to prompt me for the tune. I have the right approach now. I've paid more attention to the lilting. I've taught and danced every single step in that blue book. I know the tricky bits. I know what I did wrong.

I didn't give a spiel before teaching St Pat's (either dance, in fact). I didn't check everyone was turning correctly in half right and left, and I didn't explicitly state that it was 6 bars so the kids improvised and the panel jumped in before I had time to correct them. I didn't lilt. Not much, not properly. I didn't demo the footwork, I didn't "guide the dancers through the movements" - I explained it all as a theory exercise, I didn't TEACH it, I didn't move them. I didn't move off the spot. 

Haste, I didn't tell them about the tune. I mixed my threes. I didn't progress that quickly. I said "I think we go round to the right now...I think". I lacked confidence. I only paid attention to one set of four. I didn't demo, lilt or move. I didn't have my rings finishing in the best position (I did tell them). I didn't turn the top couple after 2nd ring. 

I got 61%. It wasn't THAT bad. I knew the movements, no question. I had a bit of rapport with the dancers. I just need to do it MORE. 

The last 10 days alone I've taught Trip, Sweets, Eight Hand Jig, Waves. Both Cross figures, 2nd figure of Humours, An Rince Mor, Gates, Four Hand. Tomorrow back to back. I just want this so much and this time I have to, I will, show them that I don't just know the words in the book. I know the dances. The tunes. The fiddly bits. I love it all. I love ceili. Deep breath and go. I know this, I CAN do this, I need this, I will do this. 

I will.