Scheduled.

So it's real - the timetable's out. I've got GREAT times, I'm really grateful as it's just fallen exactly the way I would have wanted it. Not too early, not too late, and I can cancel the third night in the hotel.

And what's more, a handy little notice has gone up about a June exam in Limerick which I'll probably be able to make should I need to.

I'm having minor panic attacks all the time (I'm exaggerating, it's not that bad. The odd wave of nausea and Fear with a capital F that Rescue Remedy or Kalms can't touch), but strangely I also feel almost relaxed?

My dancing group is quite cool - no terrifying world champions although there are some very good dancers in it. And looking at the names of people who are retaking sections, I kinda feel like well if someone as amazing as them needs two attempts, then there's no shame whatsoever in me needing two attempts. You never know how you'll react to nerves, whether you'll go blank - a disaster can happen to anyone so so what if it happens to me?

Daily, I am mummified in tubigrip from arch to knee and slathered in Deep Freeze, Deep Heat, ibuprofen gel or some other concoction or potion. I'm rattling - as well as the fear pills, I'm on ibuprofen and the 'old faithful' Anadin Extra several times a day. This is absolutely killing me. I thought I'd torn my lower calf on Monday night, I've got blisters on top of blisters, I can't walk in the morning, my quads complain every time I dare to stand from sitting.

But I'm kind of enjoying it.

I feel like I've done what I originally set out to do, which was to learn all the ceilis and all the traditional sets (well, the Big Four). I wanted to learn them because I never had as a dancer, and I felt I should know them if I was to call myself an aficionado and a true fan of dancing. Mission accomplished in that respect. Then someone pointed out to me that if I was going to learn all that anyway, I might just as well get on with it and do the full TCRG exam. Crazy, I called them. I was right. But so were they.

I honestly couldn't be without it. What would I think about all day? What would I do at Easter?! What would I look at on the internet?

I'm still not quite ready, mind. The Trip to the Cottage and Leslie's Hornpipe tunes are kind of evading me, though I can do the rest with a bit of preparation. I'm a set down and that needs sorting quickly. Stamina, in shoes, is awful - in socks I can bang out a Planxty Drury no problem - the shoes sap my stamina and strength, make me lose my concentration, kill my poor arches. I need a second hornpipe step, and quickly.

But it's not tooooo bad. Ceilis fine, music fine, got some decent teaching steps including a dead difficult girls reel. Oh yes, need to think about boy's hard shoe steps for teaching.

It's not going to be that bad. I'm going to be fine. Don't you worry, don't you worry child.

And then I can have a bloody nice massage and a sleep on Monday 19th November.

Céim an Fháinne

Just trying to make sure that concentrating on solo dancing doesn't result in me neglecting the book-smarts bit of the TCRG exam. I revised music last night which was fine, so let's look at ceili and Ar Rince Foirne.

Céim an Fháinne is 'Rings', of course, and it's important to know which direction each ring travels in. Here's a list, crossing fingers I haven't missed anything out:

1 - Four Hand Reel
Rings only appears in the first figure of this dance, handily called 'Figure of Eight and Rings of Three'. The ring is performed twice. First time it goes right/left, second time it goes left/right. Repeated in the same way when opposites perform the figure.

2 - Sixteen Hand Reel
Called Hands Round in this dance, and appears in the body. Both times the ring travels left/right.

---

3 - Haste to the Wedding
First ring right, second ring left. Each ring travels one way only.

4 - Siege of Carrick
Left/right

5 - Glencar Reel
Left/right

6 - Three Tunes
Called 'sides' in this dance as rings is something different entirely. Left/right/right/left.

7 - Trip to the Cottage
Again this appears in the body, and is performed left/right. The gent therefore, if you have the spare gent dancing, does two right feet - one to join the ring and one as part of the ring.

8 - An Rince Mor
No excuses for forgetting because it's in the title - Ring to Left and Right

---

9 - Fairy Reel
Performed twice - first time right/left, second time left/right.

10 - Duke Reel
This is the opening movement and goes right/left.

11 - Lannigan's Ball
Left/right - and remember, this one is skipped not sidestepped.

12 - Cross Reel
In Figure of Eight and Ring, all sidestep right/left.

13 - Gates of Derry
Performed twice - first time right/left, second time left/right.

14 - Sweets of May
This is both the opening movement and a figure (plus the closing movement, too). As in Tunes, they go left/right/right/left.

15 - Bonfire Dance
Performed twice - first time right/left, second time left/right.

Here's a gratuitous picture of dancers in a ring:

Anti-clockwise is the same as sidestepping to the right.
Clockwise is the same as sidestepping to the left.

So, can I see any patterns here?

...not really.

Second book - all go left first except Haste.
Tunes and Sweets are the same, which should be easy to remember as they're both Antrim dances and have lots of other similarities.
Where it's performed twice, it always goes right/left and then left/right.

I suppose it's just a memorisation task as I can't think of any tricks!

Bognor Regis

I'm not sure this town could have a more unpleasant name, to be honest. But, it's my favourite of all the competitions. Love how busy it is. I have one or two people in particular I'm rooting for with all of my willpower - if only one day I could have dancers like them.

In other news, like the more important, TCRG exam-relevant news, I think I've completed Piper and Hurry the Jug. I think I've got a step for Rodney's as well.

So....close...

Today I must...

...fix the Piper. Or make a start on Rodney's. I absolutely must do something about these dances before it's too late. I'm practising on Sunday, another big one, and I absolutely must have something to work on during that session for one or both of these dances.

Choreography you see, isn't a practical thing for me.  Meaning I don't put my shoes on and physically choreograph. For me choreography is a thinking exercise, so I think it all out and dance it when I'm happy with it. Sometimes it needs fixes, sometimes (jig) it doesn't. Everyone choreographs differently and that's my way. I just need to bloody get around to it.

38

Thirty-eight days and I'm so busy. Not with TCRG exam prep you understand, though I'm fitting it in. Busy with absolutely everything else. Why can't studying and practising be my full-time job?!

I do feel like my sets are getting stronger. I've got 4.5 jigs, just need a set for Hurry the Jug. They're all ok - I'm clearing up mistakes, ankles are getting looser, turnout is happening. I've got two completed hornpipe sets which are fine - then one to tweak, and then one to choreograph from scratch.

And oh my God, I know Garden of Daisies now! It's not the version most people do, so I hope I don't let other people throw me when they do the usual version. This version is just as correct but rarer - it's won championships so I know it's ok to do. 

Solos - I've decided which heavy jig steps I'll do in the exam. I made quite a nice one up a couple of weeks ago and can finally do the stamps on left, and for the second step I tweaked an existing one and made it slightly more difficult. Quite happy with those.

I know one of the hornpipe steps I'm doing, just need to actually dance it a few times, and then learn the other one I've been given.

I've decided on one reel and one slip jig for the exam for definite - I thought I'd decided on the second reel step but have decided it's a bit too similar to the first so I'll try something else. For the other slip jig step I could go back to my original lead but really I'd rather do something newer and prettier to show off my feet a bit more.

Ceilis - I'm breezy. Music likewise. I can even lilt most of the ceili music now. I have a skirt to wear in the exam, and a wrapover cardigan so I can look all balletesque and professional.

Not hyperventilating just yet. Even if I do still toy with the idea of getting them to change my application to TMRF. :-/

Hornpipe practice

At 5.10pm last night I was in the ladies toilet at work, grappling with a sports bra. The single most unattractive item of clothing ever invented by mankind. The reason for all of this was that I was determined to get another practice in this week - I'd done two hours Sunday, ceili on Monday, swimming on Tuesday, and then had to rest my calves on Wednesday.

However, the hall I can use for free hosts bingo on a Thursday, and the Ring and Ride arrives promptly at 7pm. So I knew that in order to get a meaningful hour of practice in, I'd have to change at work.

At 5.25pm last night I was massaging ibuprofen gel into my arches while sitting at my desk discussing hand injuries with the cleaner.

I managed to make it to the hall just before 6pm, didn't bother rearranging the furniture, and did a quick warm up while listening to the radio. Then it was straight onto hornpipe sets and, similar to Sunday, I decided to start with trad sets. Blackbird fine, I like this one. Job I learnt from a video and I wasn't entirely sure which foot I was meant to be on at various points in the set, but I've figured it out I think.

White Blankets, fine. The treble-toe-cut sequence thing that flummoxed me last time was working fine, and I came up with a fix for a toe-over-toe-over-toe bit that I still can't get. It's now toe-over-toe and toes 234.

Blue Eyed, fine. Need faster feet at the end.

Piper, woeful. Basically the steps don't really work so I need to start afresh. Annoying, but I can keep some of it and at least it's short.

At this point my feet were burning and the G&T crew were beginning to arrive so I stomped off home in the rain.

I guess it's a lesson that not every practice session is going to be amazing - Sunday was SO GOOD, I enjoyed every minute of it and I made some really good progress, with the only real damage being some sock-friction on the balls of my feet. Yesterday I was tired, slightly grumpy, sore of foot, and pressed for time.

Workshop this weekend. I'll be rectifying Garden of Daisies, learning some hornpipe rhythms to fit into Piper and Rodney's, and basically dancing in front of people which I hate, but need to get over quickly.

I can't believe Atlanta is in progress already. I can't believe I'm in the next exam. Christ.

Guess what I'm doing?

Planxty Drury. In full. Again and again and again. Getting there.

Fiddler and Rub are ok. Warmed up with St Paddy's Day as it's jig day today. When I finally get this fecking Planxty right it'll be on to Miss Brown's, and possibly a new jig I've been inaginationing.

Phew.

Right, break over. Da-da-da da dadada da da da da-da da da da da daaaa, da da da da da-da da da dadadadaa...

Run through

Let's dial back the panicking a little and have a run through of where I'm at. You never know, it might not be as bad as I think. I shall work through what I know and what I don't, in rough TCRG exam order. You'll notice that some things are in colour - I added that at the end of typing the post, so see the end for an explanation.

Ceili written

Absolutely no concerns. I know I can pass this, and that I can pass it well. I'm keeping up with my past papers (scoring above 90% on the majority), I've danced/taught most of them in class, I keep reading the book, I keep watching the videos. Here, I'm confident.

Music

Likewise, no concerns. I listen to the sets often - sometimes just identifying the tune in my head before looking down to check and then skipping to the next tune, sometimes listening to them in full, sometimes doing a full-on quiz where I have to write the bars and so on as well. I generally get 100%, although I do have to count Garden and Job. I don't think I'll have any trouble identifying the solo tunes (reel, slip jig, hop jig, jeavy jig, hornpipe, right?)

Own dancing

- Reel: I'm 100% decided on one of the steps I'll dance if asked. I have a selection of others, none of which I'm completely happy with, but there are lots to choose from.
- Hop jig and light jig: On the very unlikely offchance that I have to dance either of these, no problem. Got full dances at both standard and intermediate level to choose from.
- Slip jig: I'm 100% decided on my second step. First step, not sure yet but again I have lots to choose from. As with my reel steps, I just need to give them a dance through and see which ones feel best - I've been thinking about them all morning.

Heavies
- Heavy jig: Unsure. One step I can definitely use with a tweak (remove drum rolls). Two or more steps that I can use with a couple of tweaks, and an idea for a completely new step. It's doable, anyway - jig is my stronger heavy dance.
- Hornpipe: No clue. I have two steps, but the timing isn't what I'm used to - a little syncopated here and there, and frankly at this point I think it's a waste of time trying to figure it out. I think I'd be better served using them as a base and coming up with fixes. I think I have enough nice flourishes in my hornpipe sets to prove I can do the rhythm, let's go simpler for the solo steps.

Traditional sets
- St Patrick's Day - no problems, brush up.
- Blackbird - as above.
- Job of Journeywork - not tooooo bad, need to work out what foot I'm meant to be on and practise it more so that I'm not making a small mistake each time, but it'll get there.
- Garden of Daisies - I started learning this from a friend. No, let's be honest, she taught me all of it but I haven't thought about it since so I can only remember tiny bits of it. I literally need to relearn this.

Modern sets
- White Blankets - it needs a tweak because I accidentally repeated part of the set in the step of Blue Eyed, so it'll be easier to fix in this dance. I need to make sure I don't mess up that toe-cut-down sequence.
- Fiddler Round the Fairy Tree - it's ok, if I remember not to jump-treble into the left foot of the step, because that's not what it is. The set is quite strong, for me.
- Blue Eyed Rascal - need to get my feet quicker at the very end, and make sure I don't go off time after the walkover clicks. Not too bad.
- Rub the Bag - needs a few run throughs, but not bad. Passable.
- Planxty Drury - Confident on the step, need more run throughs on the set. I can do each part, I just haven't practised it much all put together.
- The Piper - really not sure about this one at all. I'm not sure the set works, it might need re-choreographing. Perhaps I was just having a bad day but one of the treble sequences that I seriously over-used in this dance was not happening at ALL. Faster feet.
- Miss Brown's Fancy - Step should be fine. Set needs to be danced as I've choreographed but not run through it yet, but it should fit and be ok.

That leaves one more set of each timing. Short is king so I'm thinking Rodney's Glory, just to throw a 2/4 in there really, and then I need to pick a jig. I was thinking Hurry the Jug - then I thought Hurling Boys as it's two bars shorter (I know...) and then I thought, why the heck not just call it a day and go for Sprig of Shillelagh?! I'll see. I might be able to borrow from a friends.

^ Seriously, how huge is that section?!?!

Solo teaching

- Reels: Beginner, primary, intermediate/prelim steps all ready to go. LOADS to choose from. I've got an open reel or two in my head for both girls and boys, but again I will need to dance them to make sure they fit.
- Hop and light jigs - fine, see own dancing above.
- Slip jigs: Beginner, primary, intermediate/prelim steps all ready to go. Open steps...it depends what they class as open steps. Some dances these days, even ones that win championships, are incredibly straightforward - just danced very nicely indeed. Need to give this one a bit more thought. I love slip jigs and I dance them well, I just haven't come up with one that I really like in ages.

- Heavy jigs: I've got beginner, or I've got prelim level girls steps. No in-betweenies, nothing really boy-style. I could chop down some of my jig sets to work as an open-ish level jig set, and I've learnt some quite complicated rhythm bits recently which I hope will be seen as difficult enough for open.
- Hornpipe: Kinda same as the above. Nothing that's really suitable for primary, nothing for a boy. Again, I could use set steps. More thought.

Ceili teaching

I'm fairly relaxed about this. I want to take in bracelets or something to differentiate between boys and girls, and I think I could keep 8 kids straight. For both teaching exams, I'm ok at lilting now. I even lilt to chart songs sometimes, without thinking?! I need to brush up on the ceili tunes, though. I recognise them all when played, but they're not going to be. I need to get better at just remembering them and being able to lilt them straight off. Where are we...
Humours of Bandon - just about.
Haste to the Wedding - I usually go straight to part b, but I'm getting there with part a.
Three Tunes - I'm GREAT with the repeated bits (the tunes that correspond with Rings, Stamp & Clap, and the Roly Poly). I'm not so hot on the first part of each tune.
St Patrick's Day - I think it would be quite bad if I wasn't confident on this one.
Trip to the Cottage - I think I've just sung it in my head...I'd need to listen and check though.
Lannigan's Ball - strangely, this is the one I'm most confident on.
Rakes of Mallow - although I'm quite confident on this one as well.
Sweets of May - I sometimes trip myself up on part a, but part b (the body tune) is fine. Especially Ringing the Bells!

Now, are we supposed to know the Quaker's Wife even though it only says it's the favourite tune for the Gates of Derry? I suppose it's one of those unwritten things.

I've just typed all this out, which is I'm sure horrible boring for anyone foolish enough to have read this from beginning to end...! I shall now go through and highlight areas for work. Red for serious work and amber for meh...a bit. If it's not in colour then it doesn't mean I'm going to ignore it, it's just not an immediate priority.

Whether I choose to add anything further to this post depends wholly on how colourful it ends up being...

I guess it wasn't THAT bad. It's definitely not going to pass itself, though.

Panic

I am very nearly shaking with fear. It's in two months.

I've been back and forth with worry today. I choreographed the rest of Miss Brown's, so now I only have two more sets to choreograph, and I felt almost relaxed. That's like, a month to make up two more (short!) dances, and a month to practise. I thought it was doable. I thought I should have been taking a big deep breath and chilling out.

But then I did the worst possible thing I could do and read over a former candidate's diary, just to see how she was getting on two months before. Well she'd finished all her sets and steps but was still struggling with the writtens, so I felt neutral. Then I read her account of the exam and not passing, and I started to get hot and shaky. She retook the whole thing and wrote about that too, which of course I read because I'm a sucker for punishment, and again - panic.

I really don't mind retaking dancing and teaching if I need to. I don't imagine I'm going to pass outright first time. It's just that dreaded 50% - this girl taught all the time and got under 50% on the teaching, what hope do I have? The only hope I have is that I can talk, so hopefully I can blunder through if I can explain my way.

I can't afford to take it all again, it's so very expensive and it's taken me over two years to save up just for the exam - I haven't even thought about how I'm going to pay for travel and accommodation (and new legs) yet.

Oh my god. I can't take two whole months of this panic. I've genuinely considered downgrading to the TMRF. What if I injure myself before then? Like, the day before or something?! So much to worry about.

At least I haven't started dreaming about it yet...

Proud.

I'm sitting in the living room watching the Great British Bake Off and marking a past paper at the same time. Derry 2011, I gave myself 96%. My average this year is 95.36%. But that's not why I'm proud, I'm proud of it, but that's not the reason for the post.

I was flicking through the book looking for the answers, and I found each page automatically. As I checked my answer to the Sweets of May and I lilted the tune aloud.

And I thought, bloody hell. When I started this blog, a million moons ago, I knew nothing. I knew the Walls of Limerick and I knew what the word feis meant. Honestly, that's how far I feel like I've come. I'd danced in championships, I could recite trivia, but I didn't really know much about dancing. Ever since then I've been watching, constantly. Always looking, watching, evaluating, thinking. I see dancing in a totally different way now, I'm a different dancer and a different person.

I can't believe I've learned this entire book. It's less than 80 pages, big deal I guess - but it is a big deal for me. I just can't believe I've done it. I know I know the book whether I pass or not, and that was the whole point of trying to pass this exam for me. I wanted to learn the ceilis and the trad sets because I never had, and I felt I should. I felt I couldn't be a real Irish dancer unless I knew these crucial things, these things that keep us rooted in the past while we chase the future in our solo dancing. The basis of Irish dancing, our history, the classics.

I guess I'll have that to fall back on if I don't pass. I only ever really wanted to learn these things out of respect for this art form, and now that I've done that, everything else is a bonus.

Congratulations to everyone that passed today, particularly "AinetheDragon" slash "Aine'sTRTO". She knows the online me but not the real me, and I always find her posts interesting and insightful. Well done her.