Terrified

Oh, random waves of nausea. How I have missed you. Absolutely suddenly terrified of this again. The next 7 weeks will be lovely.

54

All that's going to fail me now is nerves, I honestly feel like that. That sounds like I'm being incredibly arrogant but it's actually very pessimistic because I am SO nervous already. Last time my tactic was to try NOT to think about the TCRG exam unless I was actually doing something specifically related to it. I think that was counterproductive - this time I'm actively trying to think about it all the damn time so it becomes less terrifying. I'm not sure whether it's working or not.

My ceili teaching has definitely improved and I can lilt now. I tried to be a bit more adventurous with my solo steps, some of it's worked and some of it hasn't, so I've reverted to simpler things where necessary and I'm more confident with that now. Solo teaching I'm nearly there choreography wise, just need to test a few things out and, for the boys, get a boy to dance them to see if they feel comfortable.

I've got so many kids waiting on me to pass now. The kids of family and friends are old enough to start, they're just sitting tight waiting for me to pass. I want it more than ever, and I'll want it a little bit more every day for the next 54 days.

Please God I can keep a lid on these nerves. Please God I can really show them what I can do this time around. I need those four letters.

Serious preparation

Last week:

Sunday - ceili class
Monday - ceili and solo class
Tuesday - solo practice
Wednesday - gym
Thursday - teaching practice
Friday - gym
Saturday and Sunday - ok, rest days, but I lilted and revised at least!

I've just got to do this every week for the next 12 weeks or so and I'm done. It hasn't killed my legs as much as I thought it would.

So, this week:

Monday - ceili and solo class (whichever ceilis are thrown at us, plus jig sets)
Tuesday - solo practice (hornpipe sets)
Wednesday - gym (bike/cross trainer/leg machines/core stuff/arms)
Thursday - teaching practice (Four Hand and Glencar reels)
Friday - gym (more of the same, might try the rower)
Saturday - solo practice (not decided yet, slip jig needs a run through and I have a new reel step)
Sunday - ceili class

On it. Car bonnet.

Wall of Inspiration part 2

^ So there's 93 to go. It's what I do with them that counts. I have a spreadsheet mapping out the next 13 weeks of my life, with a dance task plotted in every day. I'm colour coding it - green for success, as in I got off my arse and did my practice or went to the gym that day. Red for failure - did not get up and go. I'm allowed a few reds. But keeping track on screen makes me see how many. I could have a red day today, but then I can't have another red all week. I could have a red day, but look how many pretty greens I've got. Why would I want to taint it with red?
PS - Jessie Leach, please win the Worlds in London. I want to applaud you.

^ Two marks. Nine marks. Nine marks. I'm too close to give up. So I'm not going to - it's happening.

^ "If you want to know where your heart lies, look to where your mind wanders". I love it so much.

^ But only twice.

 

 

^ But I have the experience. I'm going to be in the same room. I know exactly what to expect. I know how to fail it. I know why I failed it. I've learnt the lesson.




For part one - go here.

99

It's creeping up on us again. The venue's now confirmed. The fees are paid. I'm feeling ok.

I said I wanted to have all my dancing steps choreographed and sorted by the end of August, ready for just practising. I'm happy with all my heavy steps, sets included, and I think I've finalised my light steps but I'm relaxed about leaving those a little longer since I've always been indecisive about reel and slip steps, even as a dancer. I've just got so many running round my head that it's hard to narrow them down - even so I have a definite step for each, and a few maybes. Not concerned about that.

I've been killing the gym a bit so I feel like I'm getting fitter and it's doing my legs good. Not so my feet - a niggle has turned into full blown plantar fasciitis, especially severe in the left foot. What can I do but plough on? I'll rest at Christmas.

I'm feeling really good about ceili teaching and feel like I'm actually quite strong on lilting now which is one of things that let me down last time. I just need to calm myself as my speech speeds up when I'm nervous, I get raging dry mouth, I go pink - I know I know my stuff, I just need to not give them any reason to take off points. Speaking too fast could knock points off under 'clear and audible instruction'. They could knock points off for a lack of confidence, I don't know. It's physical, I can't control it and I'm not like that in a real class situation.

Solo teaching I think will be ok, I've got boys steps ready and again I just need to relax, and break down a bit further than I did last time. Lilting again will pull my marks up this time I hope, and I need to think about where I'll stand and how I'll actually teach it.

I wonder if I wrote a post last year about how I was doing with 99 days to go. I'm infinitely further on this time.

Cork Traditional Sets

Really interesting. With the exception of Garden of Daisies, which is similar to the version I know but performed differently, not many of these set dances are anything like the ones I know. I've seen many different variations over the years but I've never seen some of these. St Patrick's Day in particular. I genuinely didn't even know there was more than one version of the 'Lion's Claw' step.

Performed by dancers from the McTeggart school after a workshop with Maureen McTeggart-Hall, ADCRG.

Achievement unlocked:

All heavy shoes dances and steps completed. 

Level up: Reels and slip jigs.

Stop it.

Stop being negative. Stop letting yourself get overwhelmed. Yes, you've got a lot of work to do. But you've done far more work already. You've done more than there is left to do, you know that. Don't waste it. Get it passed and deal with everything else afterwards. Dancing's not going anywhere whether you like it or not - it's there when you're stressed, ill, tired, anxious...it's the first place you turn any time you feel negative about anything else in life, so don't turn it into a negative. It's the only thing you've ever stuck with, the only thing you understand, the place your mind perpetually wanders. You might just as well do it if you're going to think about it 18 hours of every day anyway. Stop it, you're having this.  You are all over this. You need to do this. It's getting done.

150 days to go

Here's where it becomes real again. 150 days to go, so I thought I'd write a list of what I've done and what I need to do choreography wise. I want every step finalised by the end of August, so that the following 3.5 months can be dedicated to practising and teaching and nothing else.

Solos:

1 reel step and 1 slip jig step decided on.
To do: finalise 2nd step for both, practise everything.

2 hornpipe and 1 jig step decided on.
To do: choreograph 2nd jig step and practise everything.

Sets:

All traditional sets learnt.
To do: Work on King as it's the newest one and I'm not quite there. Practise everything else.

2x hornpipe sets finalised, 1x hornpipe set step finalised.
To do: Finish 3rd hornpipe set - set part to be choreographed. Practise everything.

2x heavy jig sets finalised.
To do: Choreograph 3rd and final heavy jig set. Practise everything.

Teaching:

Most dancing steps suitable for teaching. Beginning and intermediate level steps all sorted. Some boys steps sorted thanks to possible tweaks of girls steps to make them masculine.
To do: Boys reel and boys hornpipe to be choreographed and practised. Teaching to be practised in general.

So to sum up, my choreography to do list looks like:

- 1x girls reel for me/teaching
- 1x boys reel to teach (adaptable for different levels)
- 1x slip jig to finalise
- 1x jig step for me/teaching
- 1x boys hornpipe step (adaptable for different levels)
- 1x hornpipe set set
- 1x full jig set

And my practising to do list looks like:

- EVERYTHING!

To be an example

I think the inspirational images posted in my last message definitely have a place, but I can't help but feel that something personal to each individual is far more motivating than a picture and text specifically designed to try and be inspirational. And recently I found my own personal motivation.

When I'm a TCRG, I'm not just going to be there to make up a few steps and shout a few corrections. I'm responsible for those dancers. It's not just instructing, it's a duty of care. I need to make sure their feet and ankles are strong enough to prevent injury and support them en pointe, I need to help them strengthen their cores safely to give them the lift and hold they need. I need to give them ways to prevent shin splints, I need to know how to spot when someone could be suffering from common disorders and injuries. I'm not just going to be teaching them to do a stag leap - they need to be doing everything safely. I want to train them more like ballet dancers, with each muscle considered and worked upon. Nothing neglected.

So I can't neglect myself. I can't very well insist that they do their calf raises and stretches twice a day if I allow myself to forget to do them. I can't insist on water and bananas in class over crisps and coke, if I'm eating a load of crap at my desk.

I need to inspire them. And the only way to do that is to do everything that they need to do.

So I need to pay more attention to my muscles and my physio exercises. I need to get myself (and keep myself) healthy. I can't be a hypocrite here - I have to motivate myself by remembering that I'll need to motivate them.