Solo

My solo practice today was a bit of a mixed bag. I warmed up with the traditionals and then attempted to do all of my jig sets in shoes. Miss Brown's up first, and it was dire. No stamina, bent knees throughout, clicks at waist level or below (at least I was hitting them) - serious problem. So I had a word with myself, sang 'Not Giving In' by Rudimental, and turned to face the storm. First dance it in socks to prove to yourself that you can get through it. Then in shoes - first just the step, then just the set. Then all the way through. And I DID it. I got through it. It was as rough as hell but now that I know I have the stamina to get through, it will get better every time. As the stamina increases so will the technique as I can concentrate on performing it, not just getting through it at all costs.

Rub the Bag next, just did it in full, no messing. Hurry the Jug took a while longer, partly because I kept messing it up and doing the wrong linking steps, but I got there in the end.

It's getting a little better every time.

So what have I got left? Mon 18, Thurs 21, Sat 23, Sun 24. That's plenty for next week and probably physically all I can do. Mon 25, Tues 26 or Wed 27, Sat 30 and Sun 1. That's another 4 - 8 in total. Mon 2, possibly Tues 3, Sat 7, Sun 8. Three or four. 11 or 12. Mon 9, then exam. 12 or 13.

I actually think this might be achievable. Now - Strictly Come Dancing and pizza before ceili teaching tomorrow.

This time last year

...I was failing my TCRG exam.

Well, if you take it by the calendar I was actually on the way to Glasgow, a horrifically lonely and nauseous seven-hour train journey. I'm flying this year. And technically I passed the first day.

If you take it by the day, I was getting ready for my dancing exam. You know, I surprised the life out of myself at that dancing exam. I couldn't believe I didn't cave. More to the point I couldn't believe I was even there. I got back to my room afterwards and actually shouted YES! I exceeded all my expectations and danced quite well. Ok I knew I'd fudged my Rodney's and made some of the set up on the spot as I blanked, and I made a little mistake in St Patrick's Day, but I honestly thought I could have passed it.

It's still a matter of huge frustration as a) if I only needed to retake teaching and not dancing, I might have been able to afford it in June and the ankle injury wouldn't have been an issue. I would know by now. I would be a TCRG by now. And b) because dancing isn't going so well this time and I can't help think that rather than make up those two tiny marks, I might go backwards. I wish I could just get up in front of them, dance St Patrick's Day again (but right), and that'd be it.

To be honest I don't know what I'll do if I go backwards in the dancing. I'm getting older, not better. It's now exactly 4 weeks til I have to do it again. 28 days. On the 15th of December it'll be all over. I can only use those 4 weeks to do as much work as I humanly can, and pray that it'll be over for good, and not just over for another year.

Things I'm going to do after the exam: a list

1. Have one full week where I do nothing after work and nothing at the weekend. No practice, no class, no gym.

2. Treat myself to a massage.

3. Go back to pilates.

4. Go swimming.

5. Eat a KFC. A really, really big one.

6. Wash that KFC down with champagne.

7. Have a relaxing Christmas where I do not think about dancing.

8. Do myself a pedicure (I would not inflict these feet on a professional. I dare not. They would rethink their career choices).

9. Set up a spreadsheet detailing exactly how much this TCRG exam has actually cost me. How much those letters actually cost.

10. Faint, burn the spreadsheet and never mention it ever again.

11. Start to worry about the results.

Ceili teaching

I'm on this. I've got this. Last time, I was vocally paralysed and could not find the tunes. I didn't approach it in the best way - I waited too long to give the panel the information they were looking for and both times they had to prompt me for the tune. I have the right approach now. I've paid more attention to the lilting. I've taught and danced every single step in that blue book. I know the tricky bits. I know what I did wrong.

I didn't give a spiel before teaching St Pat's (either dance, in fact). I didn't check everyone was turning correctly in half right and left, and I didn't explicitly state that it was 6 bars so the kids improvised and the panel jumped in before I had time to correct them. I didn't lilt. Not much, not properly. I didn't demo the footwork, I didn't "guide the dancers through the movements" - I explained it all as a theory exercise, I didn't TEACH it, I didn't move them. I didn't move off the spot. 

Haste, I didn't tell them about the tune. I mixed my threes. I didn't progress that quickly. I said "I think we go round to the right now...I think". I lacked confidence. I only paid attention to one set of four. I didn't demo, lilt or move. I didn't have my rings finishing in the best position (I did tell them). I didn't turn the top couple after 2nd ring. 

I got 61%. It wasn't THAT bad. I knew the movements, no question. I had a bit of rapport with the dancers. I just need to do it MORE. 

The last 10 days alone I've taught Trip, Sweets, Eight Hand Jig, Waves. Both Cross figures, 2nd figure of Humours, An Rince Mor, Gates, Four Hand. Tomorrow back to back. I just want this so much and this time I have to, I will, show them that I don't just know the words in the book. I know the dances. The tunes. The fiddly bits. I love it all. I love ceili. Deep breath and go. I know this, I CAN do this, I need this, I will do this. 

I will. 

Six weeks

...and I'm partially screwed as far as solo practice is concerned. Up til now I could dance on Monday night at class, on a Tuesday in an empty function room near home, Saturday mornings in the same place, and occasional Sundays in the same place. The room is now let out to another group on Tuesdays. Two solo practices a week is not going to cut it, not when I've just had my shoes altered (tips cut down) and I really need to get more practice in them. That's 12 practices before the exam, plus about 3 Sundays. 15 sessions. Not enough.

I practiced at home last night, but obviously I can't wear shoes and all the floors are rock solid. Shins are buzzing a bit today.

I'm feeling really confident with ceili teaching though, so perhaps I can give that a back seat and just keep it ticking over with one practice a week perhaps.

Things I still need to do:

- Finalise boy's reel teaching step.
- Finalise boy's hornpipe teaching step.
- New slip jig dancing step for myself - the other one just isn't working on me.
- Practice boy's heavy jig teaching step.
- Practice the shit out of everything.

43.

My friend, who eventually will be my assistant teacher and take her TMRF, was given a bottle of Moet for her birthday last week. She decided not to open it, and is saving it for the day I tell her I've passed instead. Gulp.

Terrified

Oh, random waves of nausea. How I have missed you. Absolutely suddenly terrified of this again. The next 7 weeks will be lovely.

54

All that's going to fail me now is nerves, I honestly feel like that. That sounds like I'm being incredibly arrogant but it's actually very pessimistic because I am SO nervous already. Last time my tactic was to try NOT to think about the TCRG exam unless I was actually doing something specifically related to it. I think that was counterproductive - this time I'm actively trying to think about it all the damn time so it becomes less terrifying. I'm not sure whether it's working or not.

My ceili teaching has definitely improved and I can lilt now. I tried to be a bit more adventurous with my solo steps, some of it's worked and some of it hasn't, so I've reverted to simpler things where necessary and I'm more confident with that now. Solo teaching I'm nearly there choreography wise, just need to test a few things out and, for the boys, get a boy to dance them to see if they feel comfortable.

I've got so many kids waiting on me to pass now. The kids of family and friends are old enough to start, they're just sitting tight waiting for me to pass. I want it more than ever, and I'll want it a little bit more every day for the next 54 days.

Please God I can keep a lid on these nerves. Please God I can really show them what I can do this time around. I need those four letters.

Serious preparation

Last week:

Sunday - ceili class
Monday - ceili and solo class
Tuesday - solo practice
Wednesday - gym
Thursday - teaching practice
Friday - gym
Saturday and Sunday - ok, rest days, but I lilted and revised at least!

I've just got to do this every week for the next 12 weeks or so and I'm done. It hasn't killed my legs as much as I thought it would.

So, this week:

Monday - ceili and solo class (whichever ceilis are thrown at us, plus jig sets)
Tuesday - solo practice (hornpipe sets)
Wednesday - gym (bike/cross trainer/leg machines/core stuff/arms)
Thursday - teaching practice (Four Hand and Glencar reels)
Friday - gym (more of the same, might try the rower)
Saturday - solo practice (not decided yet, slip jig needs a run through and I have a new reel step)
Sunday - ceili class

On it. Car bonnet.

Wall of Inspiration part 2

^ So there's 93 to go. It's what I do with them that counts. I have a spreadsheet mapping out the next 13 weeks of my life, with a dance task plotted in every day. I'm colour coding it - green for success, as in I got off my arse and did my practice or went to the gym that day. Red for failure - did not get up and go. I'm allowed a few reds. But keeping track on screen makes me see how many. I could have a red day today, but then I can't have another red all week. I could have a red day, but look how many pretty greens I've got. Why would I want to taint it with red?
PS - Jessie Leach, please win the Worlds in London. I want to applaud you.

^ Two marks. Nine marks. Nine marks. I'm too close to give up. So I'm not going to - it's happening.

^ "If you want to know where your heart lies, look to where your mind wanders". I love it so much.

^ But only twice.

 

 

^ But I have the experience. I'm going to be in the same room. I know exactly what to expect. I know how to fail it. I know why I failed it. I've learnt the lesson.




For part one - go here.

99

It's creeping up on us again. The venue's now confirmed. The fees are paid. I'm feeling ok.

I said I wanted to have all my dancing steps choreographed and sorted by the end of August, ready for just practising. I'm happy with all my heavy steps, sets included, and I think I've finalised my light steps but I'm relaxed about leaving those a little longer since I've always been indecisive about reel and slip steps, even as a dancer. I've just got so many running round my head that it's hard to narrow them down - even so I have a definite step for each, and a few maybes. Not concerned about that.

I've been killing the gym a bit so I feel like I'm getting fitter and it's doing my legs good. Not so my feet - a niggle has turned into full blown plantar fasciitis, especially severe in the left foot. What can I do but plough on? I'll rest at Christmas.

I'm feeling really good about ceili teaching and feel like I'm actually quite strong on lilting now which is one of things that let me down last time. I just need to calm myself as my speech speeds up when I'm nervous, I get raging dry mouth, I go pink - I know I know my stuff, I just need to not give them any reason to take off points. Speaking too fast could knock points off under 'clear and audible instruction'. They could knock points off for a lack of confidence, I don't know. It's physical, I can't control it and I'm not like that in a real class situation.

Solo teaching I think will be ok, I've got boys steps ready and again I just need to relax, and break down a bit further than I did last time. Lilting again will pull my marks up this time I hope, and I need to think about where I'll stand and how I'll actually teach it.

I wonder if I wrote a post last year about how I was doing with 99 days to go. I'm infinitely further on this time.