Remembering

Just now, for some reason, I remembered something I'd done four or five years ago. I was at work, at my old job which had a terrific view of a car park from the window, and I was daydreaming about going back to dancing. I'd been out for a while but I still kept up with all the results, still went to the odd feis with friends, still loved it of course. Danced around the house. I thought, maybe I'm too old to be a dancer now. I couldn't afford the dresses and travel now that I'm a grown-up with no support from the parents. I pushed the idea to one side but for the rest of the week, looking out at that car park and daydreaming, a different idea began to form in my mind.

Why couldn't I take the TCRG? Isn't that what I'd always wanted anyway? I knew I'd never be a world champion, but I'd idly fantasised about teaching my own. I decided yes, I'll do it. I remember opening the syllabus on clrg.ie, reading it and making a mental checklist of the huge amount of work I'd have to do. I remember going back to it every 15 minutes throughout the morning, reading and re-reading, until lunchtime when I could furtively print it out. Two copies. I read it again, highlighting one copy with things I knew (green) and things I would still have to learn (pink). My pink highlighter began to look tired. I stacked up all the sheets very neatly and placed them in a file on my desk. I forgot to take the file home. It sat there for a week, maybe two, before I remembered it. With a sigh, I opened the file and put all the papers face-down in my recycling bin. It was too hard. I couldn't do it on my own. Who was I kidding? I would never pass. I would never be a teacher.

I can't think what has caused this memory to push to the surface - out of all the other things I could be remembering, why is it this? Over the years I've held back from doing a lot of things out of fear and lack of confidence. Even recently - with my first solo Saturday class - I was initially terrified. Why? I know what dancing is, I've done it before, I can do it to a fairly competent level, I knew some of the people that were going to be there. Why so scared? I know, I have always known, that it's just the build-up that frightens me. The actual event itself, not so bad. My first solo class was great, even though I was dying after the warm-up and breathing out every available orifice. But this is a different one. I'm actually fairly sure I wouldn't have passed the TCRG if I'd've attempted it five years ago.

No big events really happened in between printing out all those papers, and then actually beginning my study for real in April 2010 (that long ago?!). No major life-changing occurences, no epiphanies, no angels visiting me in the night. But there definitely has been a gradual change in me, with the love for dancing remaining the constant. I'm more patient, both with others and myself. Now, I can explain the rising step fourteen different ways to try and help a dancer get it. Then, I'm sure I would have got us both frustrated. I'm more personable. I'm sure this is a confidence issue, but I now have the capability to be encouraging, even warm and friendly as opposed to polite and shy. Those are personal things that will make me a better teacher.

I watch and appraise dancing more analytically now. For example I never struggled with timing myself, but I never really noticed when someone was just slightly off time, but I can now. I can not only spot little faults in dancers, but can actually come up with reasons why they're doing it, and fixes for it. I'm sure before I would have noticed something wrong, but short of saying 'work on posture' or 'practice crossing' I'm not sure I could have offered a dancer more guidance. Now I can say, if you do x, you'll correct y. You only do x when you're doing y, so let's look at y. Too much algebra there I'm sure, but I am starting to think I can do it, and do it reasonably well.

So in a way, I'm glad that I put all those papers face-down in my recycling bin. I wasn't up to the job then, and I feel like I'm getting close to it now.

I HAVE A SET!

Yes ladies and gentlemen...I have a whole set dance. Choreographed by my own fair hands to boot. I'm really pleased with myself but so, so annoyed with myself too. Why didn't I do this months ago? I was constantly making excuses when really there was no reason not to. I could have completed all of them and had nearly a year to practise them all, couldn't I? Well, something's changed. I actually have a teacher now, a great teacher who encourages me. Who really wants me to do the TCRG exam. Who I don't want to let down. Who I want to impress if at all possible!

I haven't practised my White Blankets a whole lot - and sadly class was cancelled today due to the weather. That does give me a bit more time until I brave Teach and show her. I've put bits into it that I can't yet do either - there's a treble and toe combination that I can do on the left foot in jig timing, but not yet on either foot in hornpipe timing (although I know it works as I've seen people do it). But I'm playing it safe 99% of the time, so throwing a bit of difficulty in there isn't going to kill me.

So - next. I have a jig step which is dead easy, probably too easy to dance in the solo section. But, I can use it as a step for a jig set, maybe tart it up a little bit in places, and then go mad and choreograph a jig set. I'm going for Fiddler Round the Fairy Tree - love the tune, struggle to recognise it in music quizzes sometimes, love the length. 8/12/28. I've literally just thought up the first two bars as well. Ten to go!

I'm also going to resurrect some ceili revision - three dances at a time, written out without the book and then marked. I'm going to start with Book 3 just to keep it interesting.

So no more being annoyed at myself for stalling for so long as that won't accomplish anything - just get on with it. On we go.

I have a step.

No shit. Honestly, I've made up a step. It actually goes with the music as well, so long as I really rush that treble in after the over-and-down. Six whole bars! I could even do one of the simple treble combos while rotating to make it look fancier, ha. So a further 12 bars of genius required for the set before the week is out. This'll be easier though, I plan to use up the first 2 bars on a rock sequence and I can do a lot of stuff on one foot only, so filling sets is much more manageable when I don't have to backtrack due to realising I can't do said movement on left foot.

I've also realised that I when I top up my savings account this week, I'll actually have half of the exam fee. So I can apply. I. can. apply. Oooooooh dear lordy.

I just need someone to believe in me and look how quickly I can come on.

This week's challenge

Note to self.

Make up a set dance. Stop stalling and pretending you can't because you haven't danced in ages - just make one up. You might end up scrapping it when you get better at choreography but for now, just make one up. Make it hard for yourself by choosing a hornpipe set, but make it easy by choosing a shortie. The White Blankets, there you go. Do that one. By Saturday class, you will have a hornpipe set that you have actually danced rather than just thought through. You might even be brave enough to show your teacher! Do it. Stop looking at hornpipes on YouTube and stop blogging about it and just do it.

Tunes n Trip

I've spent the last two nights revising from the Olive videos, saying the movement aloud before the dancers get to it, watching the trickier bits, and making a list of mistakes. Personally I didn't make many but it did give me the opportunity to tidy up a few things in my own mind.

Next week, I'm planning to teach The Three Tunes. I've told them there's a "fight scene" in it so they're dead keen! But, I always mess up the order. I know the order of the repeated moves, I know that Sides comes first and Lead Round comes third, and that Thread the Needle comes before the final Roly Poly. I CANNOT get the other movements straight.

In correct order, the movements are:

Sides
Rings
Lead Round
Stamp and Clap
See Saw
Roly Poly
Hook and Chain
Rings
Sides Under Arms
Stamp and Clap
Thread the Needle
Roly Poly

Racking my brains and this is the only way I can think of to remember it: See Saw comes before Sides Under Arms in the Sweets of May. Hook and Chain goes in the middle. Or Hook goes with Haste. Hmm.



And, Trip. I know this one quite well but when writing it out I can never work out who goes under who arch first. Tops make the first arch so the order of passing under is: Opps under tops, opps under opps, tops under tops, tops under opps. Opps, opps, tops, tops. This makes no sense to anybody :)



Doing this has made me realise though - I do NOT know any of the ceili tunes. Not well enough to lilt in an exam anyway. I could get by with St Patrick's Day and Haste to the Wedding I reckon, Roly Poly part of the Three Tunes, but nothing else. This needs WORK. Off to iTunes to create a playlist I go - I got 100% in a music quiz earlier so I can park that for a while and work on ceili music instead.

New steps

I love the smell of new things. New car smell, new magazine, new clothes fresh from the shop, new carpet. Naturally new steps have no olfactory qualities, but with them comes the very faint scent of passing the TCRG exam. I finally did it. I finally went to a class and started learning steps. I died a horrible death in the warm up and when trying to demonstrate the slip jig that used to be my pride and joy, but I went! And in my defence, I didn't do too badly. Everything is well remembered, everything was executed to a higher standard than I was expecting. I'm not going to pass yet, but I'm on my way. There is time to polish and time to learn more. When I have more steps in my locker perhaps I can choreograph some of my own as well. I already have a potential step in my head for the White Blankets.

I just loved the class as well - it was freezing and it reminded me of winter competitions in chilly sports halls, when I'd win all my grades and come home with armfuls of plastic trophies. I did some teaching, I did some learning. It was exciting, inspiring. I have plenty to practice before next class, and plenty of revision too. My music is fine, so I'm going to have a good read of the book, a good watch of the videos, and start regularly drilling them to keep them fresh. On it.

Class tomorrow

Oh my Christ. I've got a solo dancing class tomorrow. A genuine solo dancing class, not just me practising on my own - a real class with a real teacher. For the first time in years - actually the first time in nearly SIX years doing prelim/open level steps in front of a real teacher. Shit the bed. I'm actually looking forward to it believe it or not, but as always I have "first time nerves". I just need to get the first class out of the way (for want of a better phrase) and then I'll be fiiiiine. Tomorrow is the day I take the final step towards the TCRG exam.

"If you get it wrong, you have to get it right. You can't just leave it."

The second post with this title! It does surprise me, how often I return to the wisdom of a ten year old. I have got to start putting more effort into this. I really, really want to be a teacher and I don't have the handy excuse of not being able to afford the TCRG exam anymore. It'll be a stretch but I CAN afford it, so why the delay now?

I know the ceilis, all of them, just need a brush-up and some more practise paper...well, practise. I've taught or contributed to teaching probably half of the ceilis now, including many of the eight hands. I reckon virtually every candidate gets at least one eight hand so I need to do as many of those as possible and be comfortable with them.

Music - fine, brush-up only.

Traditional sets - three out of four ain't bad. They too need a brush-up, and they need to be practised IN SHOES.

Solo dancing...I have a new philosophy on this. Surely, SURELY, they wouldn't mark too cruelly if you'd nailed the traditional sets and writtens, and done well on the teaching. SURELY this is the least important part of the exam. I'm going to try hard not to worry too much about this, and keep it simple. I have a handful of tricks I can throw in and hopefully that'll be enough. I have options for reel, slip jig and jig. For the sets, as short as possible and as simple as possible, with the odd trick in the set part. I am telling myself repeatedly that this will be enough, and that as a prospective teacher it's better to do well on the theory and teaching than on the dancing. Yes?

Solo teaching is something I never do. Hopefully I can start contributing soon, but through watching dancing more frequently I know I can spot faults more readily than I used to. I'm actually quite breezy about this, with my main worry being the difficulty of the steps. I've thought of a way around that, I think...

Watching and learning

My 100th post... :)

I'm getting better at watching dancers and identifying faults, weaknesses, and things to work on. To be a good teacher you have to be part-adjudicator, because you need to see things through an ADCRG's eyes. You have to train yourself to spot tiny little errors and small flashes of brilliance that poke through a full performance and could mean an extra 0.5 marks here, minus 0.25 marks there. It could be the difference between qualifying or not. I'm starting to be able to work out why dancers have these faults and where they come from. Why does she go off time there? Oh, because she leans back a touch which alters her trebling position. I feel like I could make constructive criticism.

I've also seen proof that the position of the adjudicator can have a huge effect on your mark. When people say "maybe judge A missed something that the others didn't", a lot of people think that must be just an excuse for an inconsistent set of marks. But if you watch a small competition you really learn how true it is - if you dance steps weakly on your right foot in front of the adjudicator on the right, then there's no escape - but even in your set, when you're alone on stage, it might not come across to the middle adjudicator and most likely won't to the left adjudicator.

There's no way I can express how much my enthusiasm for dancing spikes after just an hour or so at a feis. I've been down on myself and mostly negative this year since the Worlds, and it's because I haven't been to a feis since the Worlds! I must make sure I'm never too busy to go along again. The inspiration from the steps, the things you can learn just by watching - even if I stick with steps that were fashionable back when I was competing, watching more dancers is only going to helpful both for the TCRG exam, where I have to find faults to correct in a stranger's dancing, and in the long run. There are no more competitions anywhere near me for the rest of the year but come January, my car will become the Feis Mobile and I shall honk because I love Irish dancing.

This weekend I have...

- Written out the first five ceilis from Book One and not made too many horrendous mistakes. Just little gaffes here and there.
- Come up with some ideas for steps.
- Learnt the step for Jockey.
- Realised I don't need Jockey unless I fail the dancing exam and end up retaking in 2013.
- Thought I might just as well learn the three extra sets because nobody ever seems to do them at competitions so my hypothetical dancers would stand out, and also because I started this huge endeavour because I simply thought I *should* know the ceilis and the sets.
- Come home from dancing with my toes in one piece.

Score.